In The Body by Stephen King (which became the
movie Stand by Me), King writes “I never had any friends later on like
the ones I had when I was 12 . . . did you?”
I first met my friend Richard when I heard a knock on
our door. I was 8 years old. We had moved to Salem, Oregon a month or so
before, and I had made a friend named Dick. Dick had told me about his other
friend, Richard, but I had not yet met him. When I answered the door, Dick was
there along with some other kid with strawberry jam stain on his sweatshirt
(gross). This other kid was Richard. Dick asked if I wanted to go out and do
something with them. I was in the middle of watching a Twilight Zone rerun and
I declined. Richard and I were not impressed with each other. He was a jock (as
much of a jock as you can be at 8 years old) and I was a nerd.
Over the next few weeks, the three of us would
occasionally do things together. Richard and I barely tolerated each other. We
were just so different, and on top of that, I was a whiner. One time we made a
lemonade stand, and I felt I had been cheated out of one of my coins. I argued,
and then I cried. Not my finest moment. Not an event to bring us closer. Richard
must have thought me pathetic.
Before summer was over, Dick had moved away and
Richard and I were stuck with each other and actually started doing things
together. He was from an athletic family and he showed me how to play football,
baseball, and basketball. I knew the basics; the basketball goes in the hoop.
But Richard taught me the rules and the moves and strategy. It was a whole new
world for me and by the time school started (3rd grade), we had
become friends. We hung out together. It was good for me. I was an introvert;
Richard was an extrovert. Richard made friends easily and was one of the
“popular” kids. That meant that I got to hang with the popular kids. I never
would have done so otherwise. It seemed like there was always a gang of us
hanging out, doing things together. This was far healthier for me than had it
been otherwise where I would have been spending most of my time in front of the
television.
Richard was a philosopher. We often found ourselves
waxing philosophical or talking about God or Jesus. I would not say Richard was evangelically
religious, but it was something he thought about. He had strong opinions. He
was also vehemently anti-racist, and vehemently anti-smoking (it came as a
shock when I reconnected with him later in life and discovered he was a heavy
smoker! But that was eventually something he overcame.) He was interested in
the big questions and so I was interested in the big questions. There was one
interesting thing Richard would do occasionally if he felt himself provoked: he
would apologize to God before swearing. He would look up and say ‘Oh, I
don’t mean this God or Jesus,” Then he would look at you and let out an
invective of creative expletives. I saw this happen a few times. I was on the
receiving end of it at least once (I probably deserved it).
I was basically a lazy kid. I know this about myself.
I can admit it. Somehow Richard turned this lazy nerd into an athlete.
Elementary schools don’t have athletic teams. But there is little league in
Summer, and with Richard involved, quasi-teams could always be got together for
a game of basketball or three or four-man football. By the time we got to
junior high (where there were real teams) I was ready to join up. That does not
mean I was a great athlete, but I was no longer an 80-pound weakling.
Outside of sports, Richard and I did things together.
We went to movies, we went on hikes, we hung out at the mall with other
friends, we talked about girls. We talked a lot about girls. We became
best friends. Junior high school with Richard as your best friend was a great
time. It is nice to have a popular friend when you are a teen. We did
everything together. We even dared to sneak out in the middle of the night to
meet up with girls. Nothing much happened in these meet-ups apart from a little
making out, but it felt dangerous. We were stealthy and cool. We were like James
Bond. In retrospect, these night outings were probably not a good idea. It was
just by dumb luck that we were never caught by our parents, and if the police
had caught us roaming the streets at midnight, that would have been most
unpleasant, not to mention embarrassing.
Richard and I walked to school together every day, in
grade school and junior high. Both schools were about a ¾ mile journey from our
houses (seemed like more). We would find shortcuts which may or may not have
saved us any time. We would explore the world along the way, make up stories
and songs, and talk about (what else) girls.
We had great plans for the future. We thought that
when we turned 18, we would buy an old school bus and our gang would convert it
into living space, and we would just travel the country in our bus like
hippies. It was a nice fantasy, but I doubt if the reality would have been as
nice. Can you imagine the smell after a couple of weeks, not to mention the
“old” school bus would probably not be reliable and we would find ourselves
stranded somewhere in Utah having quickly run through our cash. But we dreamed.
It is good for teenagers to have dreams.
We did school plays together and I discovered that I
liked acting. Richard, despite his bravado and audacity for going out for the
big parts (usually villains) was less comfortable on stage. I remember we were
in a production of Peter Pan. Richard was Captain Hook, and I was Smee.
This was a revelation to me that Rich, who was good at everything, was not very
good at acting. Nonetheless, after we saw the movie Jesus Christ Superstar, we
decided it would be great to be in that show. We learned all the songs and did
a fantasy casting of the show with ourselves and our friends playing the
various parts. Alas, we never did a production of it.
In Junior high, Richard’s and my athletic careers
diverged. We were both on the football team, but I quickly realized that I did
not like being on the football team. We had a coach who believed in motivation
by yelling, and that was not for me. So, I did not go out for football the next
year. We were both on the basketball team and we were both reasonably good. Not
stars or anything but we both saw a lot of playing time. And I liked
basketball. I had never particularly enjoyed baseball in little league, so when
Spring rolled around, Richard went out for baseball, and I went out for track.
It was track where I found my athletic niche. Richard did equally well in
baseball.
Early in 9th Grade (my last year of junior
high) my father got a new job. We would be moving to Eugene. It is kind of
tough in your last year of junior high to move away in the middle of the school
year, to go from being near the top of the social ladder (thanks to Richard) to
the very bottom (the new kid, the new kid with acne). Richard threw me a
tremendous going away party. He was given free rein to use the family garage.
We covered the garage floor with dry leaves so it would look like we were out
in nature and had a fake campfire to sit around. He brought in a stereo and
lots of snacks. All our friends were invited. We had dancing. We had BS
sessions. We told each other our dreams and fears and secrets and aspirations
for the last time. Then I moved away.
We got on with our lives. I went to high school, then
college. I moved to Idaho for a bit where I met my wife. We eventually settled
back down in Newport, Oregon. Richard went to college, got married to a lovely
woman named Cathy and started his own consulting firm.
We kept in touch from time to time. It wasn’t as easy
back then. There was no email, no instant messaging, no social media. We led
our separate lives. Eventually I think Facebook helped us to reconnect. At this
point I learned that he was no longer “Richard”, he was now “Rich.” He and his
wife Cathy invited us to theater or dinner in Salem, and we would invite them
to theater or dinner in Newport. It was a lovely and successful reconnection.
Then, a couple of years ago I got a message that Rich
had died in his sleep. It was completely unexpected and it threw me. It wasn’t
fair. I wanted more time. But the universe doesn’t play by my rules. I just
have to be thankful that I had him in my life. He shaped who I am. I have had
many friends since I moved away from Rich all those years ago. But no one like
him.
If you are somehow reading this Rich, I love you man.
Comments
Post a Comment