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Morbid Little Nuggets of History



Many works of fantasy and science fiction have used actual historical events as their framework. J.R.R. Tolkien was writing the Lord of the Rings during the Second World War and it is easy to feel the emotional wracking of a world at war in the work. George R.R. Martin has made no secrete of the fact that he used European history (particularly the War of the Roses) as a model for The Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones).  Star Trek’s “Romulan Empire” is about as thin a disguise for the Roman Empire as you can get. This is but one reason for my own interest in history. There are always fascinating quirks to be found. For example, here are the facts surrounding the deaths of four Roman Emperors (these are not in chronological order). 


Nero’s reign was collapsing around him as influential people became more and more fed up with his corruption and tyranny. The generals Galba and Vindex declared against him, and the Senate proclaimed Galba as emperor. Nero planned to kill himself but did not quite have the courage to do so. He tried to run, but his options soon dried up. Realizing all hope was lost he is reported to have said, “what an artist dies in me!” There is some debate about whether this was a boast about what a great artist he was, or an introspective question about what kind of artist he had been. As soldiers closed on him, he tried again to kill himself with a sword and again failed. At this point one of his freedmen helped him and inflicted a mortal wound. When one of the soldiers found Nero, he tried to stop the bleeding. Nero said, “too late, but ah, this is fidelity!” Nero thought the soldier was trying to save him out of loyalty, but it is more likely he wanted to present a living Nero to the senate to be publicly executed. Incidentally Galba, and the next two emperors didn’t fair even as well as Nero. All were usurped and executed within months of taking office. 


Caligula. Was there ever a ruler more denounced for his excesses and villainy than Caligula? He has been the subject of television shows, operas, and X-rated movies (by the way if you haven’t seen John Hurt’s portrayal of Caligula in the old British TV series I Claudius, you are missing a treat). There are many speculations about Caligula, that he was insane, that he had epilepsy, that he was venereally diseased, that he suffered from hypothyroidism. We don’t have enough original sources to say how many of these things are true, but it is fair to say that he was widely despised. He had sex with just about anyone who crossed his path, and he drained the Roman treasury dry. At age twenty-nine, one of his Praetorian Guard, who had grown increasingly incensed by the obscene passwords that Caligula forced him to use, killed him in a passageway of the palace. Important safety tip: don’t piss off the people around you who have big swords. 


Tiberius was good leader who ruled justly for at least the first years of his reign. But he was a sullen emperor who grew tired of Rome and its gossip, plots, and intrigue. He moved to the isle of Capri and “governed” from there. He lived to be seventy-seven and by the end, his mind was going and he was increasingly paranoid which led to cruel and incosistent policies. People were getting pretty tired of Tiberius. They were wishing he would hurry up and die so they could get a new leader. (Be careful what you wish for).  The day came when Tiberius was visiting Misenum. He collapsed and appeared to have died. Caligula was there, and everyone rushed to congratulate him as the new emperor. They were then soon shocked to learn that Tiberius had revived. Several fled, in fear of the emperor’s revenge. But a friend of Caligula’s took care of the situation by taking a pillow and smothering Tiberius. 


By the time Vespasian came to power, Rome was in terrible straits. Following the disruptive incompetent rule of Nero, Rome devolved into civil war. In the span of one year, three emperors came and went (and of coarse 'went' means killed). It was called the ‘year of four emperors’. Vespasian brought some much-needed stability to the empire. He reigned for ten years and must have been well thought of compared to the chaos that preceded him. He became ill while visiting Reate. He drank the waters of Lake Cutillia and developed severe diarrhea. Knowing the end was near he said,” I think I am becoming a god.” His final words were, “an emperor should die standing.” He died while trying to get to his feet. 


It is always interesting to find quirky nuggets of history. Real history can be just as interesting (if not more so) than fiction. And you never know when they will wind up in a story. 


(My novel Star Liner, is now available in paperback or as an e-book through Amazon, or the other usual online sources)

 Star Liner

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