Have you
ever had one of those moments when you are going along with your life and
suddenly something happens that throws your life into reverse? Sure you have.
Everybody has. You lose your job, or you get a bad medical diagnosis, or the
unexpected death of a family member. You go from everything is fine, to
everything seems broken.
Books,
movies, plays and songs are written about just such events. Young Hamlet must
have been having a great life, he was the prince and would one day become king.
He was living the college life away in foreign country. He was on top of the
world. But then he gets news that his father is dead. By the time he makes it
back home to Elsinore, his uncle has married his mother and has been named
king. What a turn of events. Then his father’s ghost tells him that the uncle killed
him. It’s enough to drive one mad, or to drive one to pretend to be mad.
Sometimes
the event that changes our world is a collective one. Everyone who was alive in
1963 knows what I am talking about. For decades after, you would hear the
refrain, “do you remember where you were when you heard that Kennedy had been
shot?” We all remember. It was seared into our brains forever. The world seemed
different afterwards. It seems like every generation has their Kennedy moment: a
global pandemic, Pearl Harbor, the Space Shuttle disaster, 9/11. Shock is the
operative word. These are moments of shock.
But your
world can change because of good news too. It tends to be less dramatic than
the big bad news unless it is the cliché of winning the lottery, but an
unexpected job opportunity, discovering a talent that you didn’t know you had,
or an unexpected kiss can rock your world. As much as a bad diagnosis can shake
up your life, if it is followed by a good one, it can put it back together
again, albeit probably in a more mindful way. Good moments are sometimes enough
to change your whole world view. Romeo and Juliet meet and fall instantly and
hopelessly in love. Their lives are changed forever by that moment. But wait,
you say, that is a tragedy. They die. Yes, but do you think if you could ask
Romeo or Juliet to trade that meeting in order to have a long life, would they
do it? I think not.
All of these
things, good and bad, shape us. We are defined, not by the event, but by how we
deal with it. I have known people in my life who have had more than their share
of misery. Life has been unfair to them. Some of them wallow in their misery.
They complain and rage and tell everyone how unfair everything is. But others
make a different choice. They choose to make the best of it. They choose to
appreciate the good things they have, and not to dwell on their misfortunes.
That does not mean that they let people walk all over them, but they choose not
to spend too much time crying over things they cannot control. I know a woman
who has had many, many misfortunes in her life, from childhood to adulthood.
And yet she has not let it embitter her. She greets the world with a smile and
has a kind word for everyone. She is an inspiration. I have to believe that she
and people like her, lead a happier, more fulfilling life than those who rage
and grumble at their fate.
By all
accounts, Abraham Lincoln was a kind good-humored fellow. And yet ye was born
into abject poverty. His mother died when he was nine. A failed business
venture put him in debt for years. His sweetheart died. He lost elections for
the legislature, for congress, for the senate. Yet somehow, he kept his spirits
up and was eventually elected President of the United States. So when those big
moments of life hit you over the head, try to emulate someone like Lincoln
rather than those poor sods who run around going, “poor me! Poor me.”
Comments
Post a Comment