The Prison Show

 

Last week I said I would post my journal entry about the play we performed for the inmates at a prison. I hesitated to post this because it is rather long. But it is somewhat insightful about what can go wrong with any planned adventure and there are some amusing moments. So continue on . . .  if you dare.

This trip was to Two Rivers Correctional Institute in Umatilla, Oregon to put on a performance of Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida for a select group of inmates. There were four vehicles going on the trip: the bus, Van’s car, John on his motorcycle, and Andrew and Terry in their car coming from Portland.

We got on the bus which was a former airport shuttle (that had seen better days). The Myrmidon shields were already stacked and bungeed to the second door. Baggage was piled up against one wall. The bus had several bench seats and a large open floor area. There was a foam pad in the back for people to sit/lay on. We got started a little late which concerned me because I didn’t think we had a whole lot of wiggle room in our schedule. Van (our director) wanted us at the prison by 4:30. He said the latest we could get there and be allowed in was 5:00. Debo took attendance as she would every time we started up, to make sure we weren’t leaving someone behind. The looseness of the seating arrangement meant we could move around from place to place and talk to different people. And there were not much in the way of seat belts. There was much discussion of movies, Tarantino, Dennis Hopper and the virtues of “Man vs. Wild” versus “Survivorman”.

We stopped at the Burnt Woods Store, an unscheduled stop. I suspect someone had to use the rest rooms. I should mention that every time we stopped we had a wedge of a log that we put under the wheel to keep the bus from rolling (something else to instill confidence.)  We stopped again at Leathers truck stop in Aurora to fuel up and for a bathroom break. I waited for a long time for someone to get out of the men’s room, and finally decided to go outside and use the porta-potty. As we were milling around the bus getting ready to leave, Shawn noticed liquid draining out of the back underside of the bus.  Further investigation revealed this to be biodiesel: our fuel.  Matt crawled under and said it was coming out of a tube. It looked like overflow. He asked for a pencil and plugged up whatever it was that was leaking. Now it was dripping instead of pouring out, but he said it would probably stop after we got a few miles down the road. They had Shane pull the bus forward so that the leak was over the drain and someone from the truck stop came out and spread kitty litter on our fuel spill.

We drove on, got on I-205, then I-84 into the Columbia Gorge. At Hood River we stopped at a country restaurant. Debo had made reservations, but she then had called and told them we were going to be later than planned. They were ready for us. We got there about 1:00 and Van told Debo that we should probably get our food to go because he thought it was 3 hours to Umatilla. Debo looked it up on the internet and it said 2 hours and nine minutes. She said as long as we were out by 2:00 we should be fine.  This was a discussion that popped up again later with each person citing different sources for how long it would take. At any rate we did eat at the restaurant. The food got to us relatively quickly.  After lunch we went out and checked under the bus. It was still dripping. Matt said after the level of fuel dropped it would stop. The fuel gauge now read ¾ full. It seemed like we were using fuel awfully fast, but we didn’t know what the norm was for this bus. Ethan had said if we filled up at Aurora, it should be enough to get us home.

 We got back on the road about 2:00 (maybe just a shade later). Someplace east of The Dalles, Debo got a phone call. Andrew’s car had broken down. They were in Arlington. So, next stop Arlington. When we pulled into Arlington it was 98°. Andrew had told her that they were at the Shell station. We did not see them. Shane found a place to park the bus and we got out and walked, and used the rest rooms at the park. Some of our cast decided to take a dip in the water (fully clothed). Not a bad idea, but I didn’t do it. We found Andrew and Terry. They made sure that their car was okay where it was until Sunday, and then they loaded their stuff and themselves onto our bus. Now we had two more on the bus, plus their gear (oh, by the way, the fuel tank was still leaking).

 I was continuing to worry about the time as we got back onto I-84. Now we started noticing that our bus seemed to be going very slowly. We were going up a slight incline and attributed it to that plus more weight on the bus. Van called and asked why we were going so slowly. Debo said she thought it was the hill. Shane tried downshifting but it was no help. Then Van called and said “stuff” was coming out of the back of our bus, and we started noticing a smell. A burning smell. We pulled over. Shane determined that the brakes were stuck. He said Ethan had told him that you need to pull up the pedal sometimes. He had braked hard on the onramp, and had pulled up the pedal, but apparently the brake had not disengaged. Shane got it resolved and we got underway again. Now we wondered how much we had in the way of brakes. Oh well, we won’t have to stop until we get there!

 Up to this point I had been trying to do a delicate balancing act with how much water to drink versus how many rest stops we were making (when you get to be in your fifties you have to start thinking about these things). At this point in the trip I was sweating pretty good and decided I could start drinking copiously.

 I was looking at my watch and thinking we were cutting things pretty close. Getting there at 4:30 looked out of the question now.  I decided to put on my makeup because I didn’t think we were going to have a lot of time at the prison to mess around with stuff like that. I took my shirt off and started applying white shoe polish to my beard. I asked if anyone had a mirror, but no one did, so I asked Ann to get the spots I missed. She laughed when she saw I was putting shoe polish on my beard. Just as we finished up, Karlia found her mirror.  

Finally we turned off the freeway for Umatilla. We plodded along the road to town following Van’s car. We went through town and Debo noticed that Van had changed lanes and was now in the right lane. Van was the only one who knew where we were going, so everybody helped check for an opening in traffic so Shane could change lanes. No sooner had we go into the right lane than Van changed back to the left lane. So we had to help Shane find an opening in traffic to get back. We left the town of Umatilla and continued on. I was thinking we must be getting close. It was getting ominously close to 5:00. Soon Van pulled into the center lane to turn left. So we pulled into the center lane. Then Van realized it was the wrong turnoff so he pulled back onto the highway.  Did I mention that it is not as easy for a bus to change lanes as it is for a car? We helped Shane find an opening in traffic and got back in the road. Then Van found the correct turnoff and turned left at a sign for the Two Rivers Correctional Facility. We pulled into the parking lot and parked. John was waiting for us. Yay! I checked my watch. It was 4:55. I put on my camo shirt (but didn’t button it) and followed Van over to the Administration building. We got there and he tried the door. It was locked. He checked the other door. It was locked. He called Vicky, his contact at the prison, and she told him that she thought we were coming at 5:30. She would not be over to get us until 5:30. I checked my cell phone for temperature. It said it was 100°.

 The others started showing up in various levels of attire. Ram said at this point maybe having a costume made out of furs was not such a good idea. Some of the guys found a small fountain and were splashing themselves. I decided to go back and get a bottle of water if we were going to be outside for another half hour.  We started taking bets on whether they would allow the heavy chain around Ram’s neck to go inside. Jarvis said he would bet they would. Most of the rest of us said we would bet against it.  Vicky showed up at 5:30 and led us over to the building we would be processed through. We went inside and it was air conditioned. Yay!  We got tokens for the lockers where we put cell phones, wallets, keys, etc. I took my running shoes off and put them in the locker and changed into my boots. As our names were called, we handed over our ID. We would get it back when we came out. The first group of ten went through the metal detector. They had to stand together and get photographed. They had to go out before the guards could start running us through the metal detector. At this point Ram asked if he could take his chain. They asked if it was on the “list”. It was not. The list was items that had been sent in by Van and preapproved, like our Myrmidon shields. Unfortunately our props and costumes sort of evolved over the past weeks and nobody thought about the list. Most didn’t even know about it. After some hemming and hawing they decided to let the chain through. Then John brought up his flask and his cigar. Were they on the list? No. We were told that we really need to get things on the list. The guard said the flask (which was empty) could go through, but he would have to call someone about the cigar. They finished getting everyone through the metal detectors and then we got all of the shields to take through.  The word came back. . . no cigar. They put us together to take a picture of us and the guard went, “oh man!”  Dead battery in the camera. He had to call for someone to bring him another camera.

 The show was supposed to start at 6:00 and at this point I am thinking that it must be 6:00 already. We are only to be there from 6 to 9, and Van wanted a full hour to do Q and A with the inmates after the show. This was already questionable as we had yet to actually get the show done in two hours. Our record so far was about 2 hours and five minutes. Finally someone brought up a camera, he took our picture. Vicky stamped our left hands with a stamp that shows up under ultraviolet light. We were told not to ever let the shields cover our faces as we were going through because we would be under video surveillance at all times. We went through the first door and Vicky shown a UV light on our hands to make sure the stamp was visible.  When we were all inside the room they shut the door behind us and opened the next one. We walked out onto a courtyard between buildings and suddenly we were back in the 100 degree heat.  Someone commented about the fence with razor wire that surrounded us. One of the staff told us if you get caught up in it, it has to be surgically removed to get you out. This process was like going through a series of airlocks. When everybody was in one section they close the door behind and only then do they open the door or gate in front. We went through 3 or 4 gates before leaving the courtyard and going into the next building. Then we were finally let into the room that we would be performing. There was a clock on the wall and it said 6:05. Van came up and said we might not be starting until 6:30. He shook his head and shrugged. There was no stage. It was just a multipurpose room with folding chairs set up in the middle for 30 or 40 inmates and folding chairs in the rear for us to sit on when we were not “on stage”.  I found a place (a visitation booth) in the rear left-hand side of the room and asked the guard if we could put the shields there. He said “sure”.  So I placed 4 of the shields there and found a place on the right-hand side for the 4 other shields. Then Van called us together and discussed our plan for entrances and exits and gave us our pep talk.

 The inmates came in and we were ready to start the show by 6:15. Van addressed the audience. He said a few words and explained that 3 of our actors could not make it, so we had a substitute Cressida who would be on book, and he was playing two parts, so he would be on book.  Then the show began. What can I say? The show went great. Emily, who had never played Cressida before, never rehearsed with the cast or knew the blocking or entrances, did great! If she didn’t know where to go, she figured out something and it worked. She had memorized the first scene and used her script for the rest, but was so professional about it that you hardly noticed she had a script in her hand. It was the first chance I had to really see and hear the whole play. I could tell from the reaction of the audience that they were appreciating it. They were focused on the action and responding to it.

 The play took exactly 2 hours to do. We had time for our Q and A. Chairs were set up in a semicircle in front of the inmates. Every question or comment from one of the inmates started with them telling us how much they enjoyed and appreciated the show.  Van in turn told how he appreciated seeing their show the year before and so wanted to give something back.  The inmates had performed Twelfth Night their first year and Midsummer Night’s Dream the next year. These were both plays in which several members of our company had performed. There was an interesting exchange between actors and inmates who had played the same parts. One of the inmates mentioned that he had played Helena last year and I realized of course, in their play, men had to play the women’s parts, just like in Shakespeare’s day. The inmates were asked: for how many of them was this the first Shakespeare play they had ever seen. Several raised their hands. Then they were asked for how many of them was this the first one outside of their own production. Almost all of them raised their hands.

 While we were doing the Q and A, I noticed that Joe did not look well. We finished and the inmates filed out. We collected our things and got ready to leave. We had to leave in the same group that we had come in with, so I was in the second group. We went back through all the doors and gates. They examined our hands with the UV light. I was glad I hadn’t sweated mine off. But the person behind me had. Fortunately, they let him leave with us. We got our stuff out of the lockers (John got his cigar back) and walked back to the bus. At 9:30 at night it was still 98 degrees. When we got on the bus Joe looked really sick. He said he had been feeling bad for a couple of days. He had made it through the show like a trooper, but now it was hitting him pretty hard. We waited in the heat for a long time. I asked why we weren’t leaving. Several of our cast members were still in the building talking to the prison officials. Finally they came back and we got on the road to Hermiston and our restaurant. Debo had made reservations at a Chinese restaurant called. She had to call them and tell them we would be later.

 By the time we got to the restaurant, Joe was feeling better so he went in with us. The waitress came around and asked what we would like to drink. Beer came in three sizes: small, medium, and large, so I ordered a medium. My beer came to me in a huge tankard. It turns out the small beer was 16 oz., the medium was 25, and the large was 32! Since I knew it was going to be near 11:00 before we got our dinner I ordered one of the cheapest things on the menu and hoping that it was not a lot of food. Wrong. I got a trough of food like everybody else. Then I remembered, this is cowboy country, they probably demand a lot of food for their money. Shane and his group had the idea of just getting separate plates and each ordering just one item that they could share. That didn’t work either. Each item came on a great big platter. There was much talking and toasting. Andrew had scratched out a poem on his napkin that recounted our experience and delivered it with the toasts. We talked a lot with Johnny who had set up the prison drama program. He told us what he had to go through to get his program up and running. It took getting the right person in place in the prison system to allow it to happen. He spoke about the prisoners’ reaction to our play. Some of the things we did in our play are not allowed in prison: running and fighting, and lewd remarks and insults. During the first fight, the inmates did not know quite how to react to it, like: are we supposed to be seeing this? He said the guards also looked at each other and had the same reaction, like: should we be allowing this? In the end I guess they decided it was okay. Several people got containers to take the leftover Chinese food home with them (I didn’t see how that was going to work).

 As we were walking back to the bus, Joe started vomiting. He had only had soup at the restaurant and a little rice but apparently his stomach didn’t like it. Debo wanted Emily (an R.N.) to look at him and it was decided that he would ride in Van’s car, as it would be more comfortable for him. After they were all set we drove to our hotel. Since we were already in Hermiston, I figured it would just be a few minutes. Wrong. One wrong turn in town meant we had to pull into a strip mall and turn around (always an adventure in a bus). And the hotel was back out by the freeway.  We were all tired and it seemed like it took forever to get there. We finally made it. Debo got the keys for the 4 suites and decided to get Joe his own private room.  There was supposed to be about 4 to a room but we hadn’t really decided who was going where and we were all a little rummy at this point. I just sort of hung around until she got the keys for the last room and there was only Shawn and I left. Two guys and two beds. That sounded good, but I suspected after it all shook out that someone else would be showing up at our room. We got to our room and picked our beds. Van knocked on the door. He looked dead to the world. He asked if he could sleep in our room. He said, “the room they sent me to had about 30 people in it.” Shawn was taking the queen bed and I had the king. I told him he could share the king with me if he wanted. He was beyond caring and thanked us and went to bed. Then Jarvis knocked on the door and asked if he could sleep on our floor in his sleeping bag. We said “sure” and he said he would go check in with the others and get his stuff.  Then Debo and Rosee knocked to make sure we were settled and to see who was in our room. Rosee showed us how the couch pulled out so Jarvis wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor if he didn’t want to. Shawn and I got ready for bed. But Jarvis hadn’t returned. Shawn said he was going to be up reading for a bit so he would let Jarvis in, so I went to bed. This was about 1:30 A.M.

   It did not take me long to fall asleep. I slept pretty well until 6:00, and then I woke up and could not get back to sleep.  I lay in bed tossing and turning for a long while. Eventually I gave up. I got up and took a shower. By the time I was done it was after 7:00 so the continental breakfast had started. I went down to breakfast. Ann was the only one of our group eating, so I had breakfast with her. Then Van and Shawn and John showed up and I joined them. Van and I were in agreement that we should start out early to beat the heat (it was supposed to be 103 in Hermiston that day). But some people wanted to go swimming and they still had to figure out what to do about Andrew’s car. Eventually a compromise was reached about swimming (those who wanted to could swim at the park in Arlington) and a plan was made for Andrew’s car.  Andrew had AAA which would tow him 100 miles. That was enough to get him to Hood River. Then Van would use his AAA to get the car the rest of the way to Portland. And no one had checked on Joe yet, so Debo went to do that.

 Still, getting a bunch of theater people moving is much akin to herding cats. It was 10:00 before we left the hotel. It was already hot on the bus. The bus really needs to be moving to keep somewhat cool. The day before I had mostly sat on one of the benches. On Sunday I spent most of my time reclining on the foam pad in the back. We pulled into Arlington and settled in at the park. Those who wanted to swim, did so. I stayed in the shade and watched. Meanwhile Matt was checking on Andrew’s car to see if anything could be done. He decided no, and so AAA was called. The park at Arlington is very nice. There is a somewhat enclosed water area and a dock. There is also a fountain of sorts, although what its use is, is debatable. It is not ornamental. It seems to something that might be used for cooling, but you just about have to already be in the water to be sprayed by it.  The swimmers had 25 minutes or so before they were called back. We got back on the bus. The swimmers dried as best they could or changed. We started to move and then Karlia said, “wait, there’s Jarvis!” Jarvis was coming out of the convenience store carrying a big Slurpee running for the bus.  This was the one time Debo had not called attendance, so of course. . .  Jarvis hopped on the bus. There was much laughing, joking, “oh sure, leave the black guy behind.” Ram told Jarvis, “the impressive thing is that you held onto the slurpee.” Then Johnny and his wife popped in to the bus. They weren’t planning on meeting us. It just happened that they pulled into the park and saw our bus.  We said our goodbye’s again. Debo took attendance, and we were off.

 I would love to reconvey all of the conversations we had on the bus, but it would just be imperfect fragments from my memory.  I can tell you that Mike has had some amazing adventures in his young live from the Caribbean to Turkey, to the Amazon, to a desert island. I wish I had a tape recording. Other topics discussed included Evolution, child rearing, whether to spank or not, growing up as a military brat (Jarvis and Shane), Life-Flight rides in Alaska (Ram), mosquitoes and noseems, owls (Ram hooted as a Barred owl and I hooted as a spotted owl), and must see TV shows to put on your list to see (Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica, Borgia, True Blood, The Cave of Forgotten Dreams).

 Eventually we pulled into the parking lot of our own Performing Arts Center and I saw my wife’s smiling face. She took me home and fed me lasagna.

 What a good trip!

 P.S.  When I checked out my Facebook page for Troilus and Cressida, there was a post from Jarvis:  “Patroclus, don’t eat the Chinese food! You’re welcome.”

Star Liner